Time it just keeps ticking away from insanity is grabbing me Pulling me flooring me one thousand gs are yanking me I’m thankful for the lesson but now it’s messing with my head I see these babies run the show they don’t know I had twice the skills twenty years ago and I still grow I stay positive with experience Damn I show resilience But here it is later in the game and the ones that make it Are just faking it Taking the spotlight from my life And what could they have to say? I don’t know how they make you feel it Not even good at stealing someone’s lie And I never stopped a day If it takes this long to make it Could it be I’m faking it right now It gets confusing cause I’m losing the game They’re getting beautifully rewarded for being seriously lame It’s a crime – I never made it to the right place at the right time Struggling juggling bills keeping it real speaking my mind I’m ready to close the sale but sure it’s too late It doesn’t make me any younger all this hunger and ache And I don’t know if I can dummy down enough for the minds Of what you’re buying The realest of us get left behind And what could they have to say? I don’t know how they make you feel it Not even good at stealing someone’s lie And I never stopped a day If it takes this long to make it Maybe I’m just faking it right now I don’t feel this It’s not real Three Four was one of many songs that started with drummer Ben Gold saying, "I have an idea for a song!" In this case he followed that up with his best impression of a heavy guitar riff and went, "Du-dun, Du-dun, Du-dun, Du-dun Dun, Du-du-du-dun, Du-dun, Du-Dun, Du-dun, Du-dun Dun, Du-du-du-dun, Du-dun, Du-dun, Du-dun Dun, Du-du-du-dun, Du-dun, Du-dun, Du-dun Dun…." And over the course of the next few minutes I found the power chords that sounded to Ben like what he was hearing in his head. Once we had this opening riff down, the rest of the song was a collabaration as far as what the verse sounded like, what the bridge sounded like, and the general order of parts. In coming up with the words, I honestly can't remember if I had the first verse written already or not, but I do remember writing that verse in LAX airport after a few days of absorbing several albums from the Rhyme Sayers label. My brother had been pushing these artists my way from Minneapolis for a couple of years, but of course I didn't pay attention until my friends here in Chicago were listening, and I remember thinking this was the best available hip-hop at the time (02-03). So once I had this first verse written it was clear to me this song was a golden opportunity for me to excorcise my anger at the rap nu-metal crap that had been driving my crazy for a while. In particular bands like Linkin Park and P.O.D. which were all over the radio had such lame flows that I thought it was a crime that kids were eating this stuff up. I couldn't help but think the free forms we did on the bus in the mid eighties were better than this crap. And power chords with distortion and screaming or barking does NOT make you heavy. Or does it? So I figure we'll take this really heavy song and scream really loud and hard like those guys and there you have it. I double tracked the vocals, and I'll always regret not fixing the part at the end where one vocal says, "Could it be I'm fakin' it" while the other says, "Maybe I'm just fakin' it", but what're you gonna do? Like all four of the Kenilworth Project tracks on the Anthology, these were mixed down years ago, and redoing parts wasn't an option. I think the highlight of this recording is the guitar solo. When we recorded this song I'm pretty sure Jake was still a teenager, but his guitar always sounded great because he was focused on tone, and when it came to solos he focused on quality over quantity. This is something I unfortunately didn't pay attention to until I was in my 30s and I have to blame all the shit metal I listened to in the 80s and early 90s. So when Jake sat down to do this solo, he took his time, he put down several good takes, he listened to them several times and took the best parts of a couple of them, and had the engineer put them together into one amazing solo that to me sounds like it came right off a Ten Years After record, which is pretty impressive for someone who was born in the 80s.

Swimming in circular motion Leaves dissipate in a trance Do I reach back do I grasp at the past Or can I just follow the dance Seems that I’ve waited so long this time And I’m feeling so close again And I’m baring my soul again Time is an absolute mirror In time you can’t help but see you Sometimes others eyes can be so much more wise Sometimes we just hide from the truth IBut I know who I am and I know what I’m after – this time Give me this moment I promise I won’t hurt your pride (please don’t wake up) Am I just dreaming again Take me this time to the pasture Take me one time to the field I’ve seen it so much even felt it I’ve touched it It’s got to be real But I know who I am and I know what I’m after – this time Give me this moment I promise I won’t hurt your pride Feels so close I feel strong again No don’t let me be wrong again I’m sure I was right the first time This is also one of the first songs written for what would become The Kenilworth Project. For more on the beginning of The Kenilworth Project see Mama Baby. This was one of the first four songs that we recorded, and here again it was just Ben and I in the studio initially, and again Patrick went in later and put a much better bass line down. Also on this song I came up with back up harmonies in the studio, and as I hadn’t rehearsed them at all they were a little shake to say the least. This is where I found out about that thing they call “Auto-Tune”, and it doesn’t have to sound like Cher or T-Pain when you use it. The song is called Third because….well because it’s in three. And it’s not as heavy as the song Heavy Three which we were also writing around the same time. Lyrically it is a theme I hit all the time, damn I sure have been trying to be a rock star a long time now, surely I have it coming. Musically it is also a variation on a common theme for me, and it all comes back to Alone Again by Dokken I’m sure. What’s different in this song is the little bridge thing in between verses one and two, which never shows up again. I don’t know where that came from, but without I think the song would be about half as good. Like the other Kenilworth Project songs all I have to work with is the mix down, so no correcting mistakes. And here at the end of the song I’m reaching for a note that I might be able to hit on a good day, but it’s pretty evident that day wasn’t one of them. I’m not sure why I thought it would sound better if I tried twice, and then put the two together, but I can’t say that helped any either. The rest of the song though is definitely one of my favorites and most personal, and other than that two seconds at the end I’m actually okay with the vocals. And the guitar solo’s not half bad either.

I know I never liked the feeling when I’m lying there alone at night lying awake and wondering am I right am I wrong All along a conversation going on in my head I never got a straight answer from me But when I think about it now it seems amazing cause a couple of lovely ladies My mama and my baby got me standing tall It’s not a problem at all Whatever I see there – they both always be there for me I don’t know where I’d be without these ladies in my life They keep me grounded I feel dumbfounded when I think about the love and the blessings they surround me with I don’t know where I’d be without these women in my life (don’t need to say it again) but I’m gonna my baby and my mama always standing in my corner for me If I could take a trip in time I wouldn’t make it cause I finally got to the place and now I love the situation I’m in I never thought that I’d have been so lucky and happy Know I’m soundin’ kinda sappy Some people get to laughing and that’s all right So well I’m sleeping at night And it’s all day feels like that I wanna say That I’m in love with a lady who’s in love with me I got my mama on the phone whenever I need her to be there for me I don’t know where I’d be without these ladies in my life They keep me grounded I feel dumbfounded when I think about the love and the blessings they surround me with I don’t know where I’d be without these women in my life (don’t need to say it again) but I’m gonna my baby and my mama always standing in my corner for me This is one of the first songs written for what would become The Kenilworth Project. The Kenilworth Project started with just Ben Gold on drums and me on guitar, we had a goal of starting a group that would be a little of everything, from ridiculously fast and heavy to slow and melodic. We were in a hurry to get things going, so we actually went into Gremlen Studios with four brand new songs within about 6 weeks of starting this new group, and Mama Baby was one of them. Ben played drums and I did everything else. The back up vocals and harmony came to me in the studio. Once I was able to hear the song with a bass as well as guitar I started to hear more layers that just needed to be there. At the same time Ben had booked our first show, and we needed to come up with a bass player quick, I was able to talk Patrick Cassin into giving it a shot even though his experience was with guitar. At the time Ben booked the show we didn’t have a name. When the manager of Uncle Snorky’s asked Ben for a name the first thing he thought of was the cold he was suffering from, and we were listed on the marquee as “All Hopped Up On Sudafed”. I sure wish we had taken a picture of that. It was Ben that had the idea to write a song for our moms, and I expanded the concept to include our wives, because I really don’t know where I’d be without Ms. Wippit. I had folk/hip hop in mind and the more we worked on the song the more it seemed like a true hit. Shortly after playing that show we brought Patrick into the studio and he put his own bass lines down on these four songs, and he did a stellar job. I hadn’t been happy with the original guitar solo, and rather than waste more studio time I recorded a few at home and brought in the one I wanted to use. I swear we ended up with the wrong one, but I’ve heard it so many times it sounds like the right one. While I was working on the solo at home it occurred to me that an acoustic guitar strumming a rhythm would really give it the folk/hip hop sound I was looking for, and I recorded that at home too. I don’t remember how long it was before we decided a “guest rapper” would really make this one a hit, but I know it was long enough that some people didn’t like it that way. Well we thought it was good. I added an extra four bars after the solo to give our friend Bobby the Dread a full eight bars to work with (copy and paste) and he worked on it in his own basement studio. If I dig around in enough old hard drives I can probably find an old version without Bobby, but me I prefer this version. And below you can see The Kenilworth Project (calling ourselves Cortechs at this point) playing the song on Mother’s day ’94 at the Double Door in Chicago with Jake freestyling the flow in the middle.

She don’t read too many books And she don’t wear too many clothes She lives on Strawberry Street I see her drinking at the Avenue B She’s gettin’ freaky with the Wizard of Oz Sippin’ and trippin’ on Alice’s tea She sleeps in a velvety bag Waitin’ for the day when she don’t have to wake up no more It was around about seven o clock this girl had made me stop and it was getting late This one she makes me wait all the time – but that’s all right – I don’t mind you gotta set ‘em free and if they come back to you well then I guess it was meant to be It was about that time that we walked into the party everybody could see this girl had already started From the look in her eye from the wave of her hair everybody starts to stare – like she’s really gonna care Met her at the corner down at State and Main And she took my heart away I said maybe I’m to blame But she went up to the corner and tried to get a hit I can’t be there with this ….. And she don’t read too many books And she don’t wear too many clothes She lives on Strawberry Street I see her drinking at the Avenue B She’s gettin’ freaky with the Wizard of Oz Sippin’ and trippin’ on Alice’s tea She sleeps in a velvety bag Waitin’ for the day when she don’t have to wake up no more I said hold up hold up right there cause she was walkin’ up to me And I had this other girl sittin’ on my lap you see – it was a catastrophe And I wasn’t sure what to do but she just laughed at me Cause I was lookin’ a fool She’s takin’ it easy watchin’ me takin’ rough She’s gonna tease my but then I’m callin’ her bluff Because I know that girl can’t stand to leave alone She never takes me all the way, but she always takes me home I interrupt just to get a cup of tea By the end of the night that mouth was around me I tried to pull it from her mouth but it wouldn’t come out So I dropped that girl when I was allowed And she don’t read too many books And she don’t wear too many clothes She lives on Strawberry Street I see her drinking at the Avenue B She’s gettin’ freaky with the Wizard of Oz Sippin’ and trippin’ on Alice’s tea She sleeps in a velvety bag Waitin’ for the day when she don’t have to wake up no more She sleeps in her room alone – picking up the pieces of her broken soul She puts them in a paper bag – cause she knows it’s time she’s got to let it all go As she’s watching the flames rise can you not see the tears that fill her eyes? Not because she’s gonna die but because she don’t know why everybody has to lie and they won’t stop takin’ and breakin’ and takin’ and breakin’ and takin’ and breakin’ and takin’ and breakin’ and it down And she don’t read too many books And she don’t wear too many clothes She lives on Strawberry Street I see her drinking at the Avenue B She’s gettin’ freaky with the Wizard of Oz Sippin’ and trippin’ on Alice’s tea She sleeps in a velvety bag Waitin’ for the day when she don’t have to wake up no more If you’ve ever been in a band with drummer Ben Gold (and I’ve been in a couple) then you know that as often as not, an original song starts off with Ben describing an idea in his head of a new song, and the rest of the band works with him to turn that idea into reality. This was one of those songs. Ben had an idea that was something like a fast rap part over this drum beat which would then turn into a half time ska beat and then we’d rock out this chorus. He set to playing the drums, and we came up with a simple four chord progression and we had a structure pretty quick. I know this was right about the time Jake joined the band, I honestly can’t say for sure if we started working on it before he joined or not. I know the first words that got written were the hook, and that Pat and I quite literally took turns making up lines, which leads me to believe we might have started it without Jake, but we hadn’t got far. I’m not sure why it became a song about a girl, but somehow Pat and I seemed to have the same girl in mind right away. Not a particular person, but a personality type, a tragic one at that. She’s a beautiful disaster, for whatever reason she doesn’t like herself enough to take care of herself. She does heroin, or she drinks to much, whatever it takes to keep her from success, but she’s still having a good time and seems to be happy. I remember Pat came up with the line, “She sleeps in a velvety body bag” and I couldn’t make it all fit so it became “velvety bag”. Things like that are the real reason for this blog. The song started off named Million Dollar Girl, and the noise bringing the song in is a recording of Ms Wippit saying, “She’s a Million Dollar Girl” with a crapload of effects on it. You’re just hearing the syllables “Millio…” over and over. So we had a hook and a song structure and now we needed some verses. I decided to be the guy who’s hopelessly in love with this girl, but I never get anywhere because these girls need to have at least one guy who’s just a friend, the one guy who would take care of her and treat her the best, gets kept and arms length. And so Jake became one of the “other” guys, and now we’ve got a complete song. I recently stumbled across an old basement recording of the song that was made at the same time as “Wake and Bake” and was part of a three song cd we passed around for a minute. On this version I clearly had absolutely no idea what my second verse was, but I think I like the solo better. This older version also has Pat going to town on the back up vocals. By the time we re-recorded this at Gremlen Studio Pat didn’t want to sing that bit on the chorus anymore, so Jake sang it and Pat did some subtle, more like talking vocals, and doused it in distortion. I think it’s awesome because it blends right into the guitars, if you listen you can hear him saying, “She’ll walk away with your heart today…..”. Since this was something like a hit for us, (it got some airplay on Ashland University’s station in Ohio when we were there supporting Scorefor) I decided to take all the live footage I have of us playing the song, and make a video with the studio recording. Shows were from ’04-’07.